Tuesdays with Tumblr: Kim Jong Il Dropping The Bass

Source

Never knew that the recently deceased North Korean dictator was a secret fan of trance and electronica. They don't call him 'IL' for nothing.

TUMBLR Posts of the Week

Tumblr  is probably  one of  the fastest way to get breaking news and highlights. Along the way I find myself laughing every single day that's why I decided to put up some of the best Tumblr posts every week.

TUMBLR Posts of the Week

Tumblr  is probably  one of  the fastest way to get breaking news and highlights. Along the way I find myself laughing every single day that's why I decided to put up some of the best Tumblr posts every week.

TUMBLR Posts of the Week

It's that time of the week again, here are some of the interesting posts from Tumblr.

TUMBLR Posts of the Week

Here are some of the interesting Tumblr posts of the week:

Manny Villar's Comics

Walanghiya magkano na kaya nagagastos ni Villar sa campaign nya?

 taken from derangedwriter

Tunay na Lalake

Ayon sa Hay! Men! Ang blog ng mga tunay na lalake! eto ang manifesto ng tunay na lalake

1. Ang tunay na lalake ay di natutulog.
2. Ang tunay na lalake ay di nagte-text-back, maliban na lang kung papasahan ng load. Gayunpaman, laging malabo ang kanyang mga sagot.
   
3. Ang tunay na lalake ay laging may extra rice.
   
4. Ang tunay na lalake ay hindi vegetarian.
5. Ang tunay na lalake ay walang abs.
6. Ang tunay na lalake ay hindi sumasayaw.
   
7. Ang tunay na lalake ay umaamin ng pagkakamali sa kapwa tunay na lalake.
   
8. Ang tunay na lalake ay laging may tae sa brief.
9. Ang tunay na lalake ay di naghuhugas ng pinagkainan o nagliligpit ng kanyang mga gamit dahil may babaeng gagawa noon para sa kanya. Mas lalong nagiging tunay ang pagkalalake kung di niya kilala o di niya maalala ang pangalan ng babae.
10. Ang tunay na lalake ay di nagsisimba.

Dear Bob Ong

Dear Mr. Bob Ong,

Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong chik na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.

Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula ? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?

In lab na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one?

Lubos na gumagalang,
-MATT -



- ANG REPLY -

Dear MATT,

Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao at suman mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba pare? Ano’ng era ka ba pinanganak?

Pero don’t worry. It’s not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa’yo, daanin mo sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na LANG talaga ang pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo ‘to, tiyak na lalaglag ang bagang niya sa’yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong panligaw:

1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box—yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.

Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na “Omega 8.” Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: “because you’re good for my heart.”

2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: “I miss hanging out with you.”

3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, “Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa’yo.”

4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung “with Omega 8.” Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.

5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo, “natunaw na kakatitig sa’yo.”

6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: “Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka.”

7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit.

8. Itext mo siya ng: “Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!”

9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo “para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin.”

10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: “Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa’kin.”

11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko"

12. Pagkatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, "ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo"

13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng "salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bkt? ang isagot mo ay " ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."

14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na “don’t leave your valuables unattended”

Handang tumulong lagi,

-Bob Ong-

Touch My Body Korean Version

if there's a camel uphill
then it's Gong Li with me
when i do i do

Golden Temple cereal box typo sends callers to phone sex line

HALFWAY, Md. (AP) - An Oregon company has ordered new packaging for its Peace Cereal after a typo on the box sent callers to a phone sex line instead of the cereal maker's 800 number.

Instead of reaching Golden Temple of Oregon, callers were greeted by a recorded voice asking, "Do you love sex? ... Isn't that why you called?"

Spokeswoman Elissa Brown says Eugene, Ore.-based Golden Temple ordered new packaging when the mistake was discovered in December and new boxes have been shipping out for weeks.

However, 13 varieties of the cereal were on shelves Wednesday at one Halfway, Md., grocery store, including seven varieties in boxes bearing the incorrect telephone number.

Golden Temple is privately owned by a nonprofit organization and was founded by Yogi Bhajan, according to the company's Web site.


Source kmtr.com

Clip of the Day: Jonel's Brief

Jonel's Brief




Man 1: Pare ang sarap ng pakiramdam ko..
Man 2: eeeeeehh bakit?
Man 1: E bagong brief ko ehh
Man 2: anu ba yan boss?

Pag suot mo beybeh
Wala kang problema (we love our jonel's brief 2x)
Ang sarap gamitin at murang mura pa (we need our jonel's brief 2x)

Ito'y matibay, di nagbebeykon
Bili na at inyo 'tong subukan

Jo-jo-jo-jo-jo-jonel's brief 2x
Bili na kayo ng jo-jo-jo-jo-jo-jonel's brief

Also available Jonel's for her!

GOOGLE EARTH 60ft penis painted on roof

Teenager Rory McInnes painted a 60ft penis on the roof of his parent's home after watching a documentary on Google Earth. The lad, currently on his gap year, painted the giant phallus in 2008, but it wasn't discovered until a year later when a helicopter pilot spotted it and allowed his passengers to take photos. According to the 'Daily Mail', the boy's dad didn't believe it when he was first told: "It's an April Fool's joke, right? There's no way there's a 60ft phallus on top of my house." But after ringing around each of his four children, Rory owned up to the painting, reportedly saying: "Oh, you've found it then!"

Source Bild.com

Clip of the Day: Drug Addict Hilarious Statement

This man hilarious version of the English Language lights up an unforgetable humor in the history of TV field reporting, and when he was asked if he's using drugs, he replied in a manner that puts evening televiewers in a heart-out laugh situation.



Courtesy of ImageCare

25 things I hate about facebook

Facebook is probably the best social-networking site ever, earned 300M USD just last year with only 700 employees..galeng ni Mark Zuckerberg. Love Facebook pare..pero minsan its annoying lalo na yung mga sangkatutak na app request.

The 10 Conyo-mandments

1. Thou shall make gamit “make+pandiwa”

“Let’s make pasok na to our class!”

“Wait lang! I’m making kain pa!”

“Come on na, we can’t make hintay anymore!”

2. Thou shall make kalat “noh”, “di ba” and “eh” in your pangungusap

“I don’t like to make lakad in the baha nga, noh? Eh di ba it’s like, so ewww, di ba?

“What ba? Stop nga being maarte noh!”

“Eh as if you want naman also, di ba?

3. When making describe a what ever , always say “It’s SO pang–uri!”

“It’s so malaki, you know, and so mainit!”

“I know right? So sarap nga eh!”

“You’re making me inggit naman, I’ll make bili nga my own burger.”

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation “dude”, “tsong” or “pare”

“Dude, Calculus is so hirap, pare.” 

“I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh.”

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!

“My bag is so bigat today, you know.”

“I know, right! We have to make dala pa kase the jumbo Physics book eh!”

6. Make gawa the plural of pangalans like in English or Spanish

“I have so many tigyawats, oh!”

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always like. Like, I know right?

“Like it’s so init naman!”

“Yeah! The air–con, it’s like sira kase eh!”

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?

“Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?”

“It’s so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?”

9. Make gamit of plenty of abbreviations, you know, daglat?

“Like OMG! It’s like traffic sa EDSA.”

“I know, right? It’s so kaka!”

“Kaka?”

“Kakaasar!”

10. Make gamit the pinakamarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!

“I’m like, making aral at the Arrhneow!”

“Me naman, I’m from Lazzahl!”

Who's this girl?

Just received this from my outlook awhile ago,



and when i found out who, napamura ako "Pooot.....!".LOL